Monday, June 28, 2010

I worry about our education






> The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

> are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL


> Q. Name the four seasons

> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar


> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to

> drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes

> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists


> Q. How is dew formed

> A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire


> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight

> between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the

> moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a

> vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight


> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are

> buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed


> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very

> important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election


> Q. What are steroids

> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

> yourself now , there is little hope)


> Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do

> your bowels and you get intercontinental


> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye

> his boyhood and looks forw ard to his adultery               (So


> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature


> Q. What is artificial insemination

> A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow


> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow

> ;                           (
Simple, but brilliant)


> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The

> abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the

> borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain,

> borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity

> the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..                (wtf!)                &

> nbsp;


> Q. What is the fibula?

> A. A small lie


> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

> A. Nearby


> Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people

> prevent contraception by wearing a condominium            (That

> work)


> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'

> A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome


> Q. What is a seizure?

> A. A Roman Emperor.                              (Julius
Seizure, I

> came, I saw, I had a fit)


> Q. What is a terminal illness

> A. When you are sick at the airport .


> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like

> umbrellas


> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand

> meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

> (OMG)


> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight   (brilliant)


>  Q. What is a turbine?

> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

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