> ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS?
>
>
>
>
> The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These
> are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL
breed.
>
> Q. Name the four seasons
> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>
> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
> drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
>
> Q. How is dew formed
> A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
>
> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight
> between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the
> moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a
> vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
>
> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are
> buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>
> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very
> important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>
> Q. What are steroids
> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
(Shoot
> yourself now , there is little hope)
>
> Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do
> your bowels and you get intercontinental
>
> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye
to
> his boyhood and looks forw ard to his adultery (So
true)
>
> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature
death
>
> Q. What is artificial insemination
> A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
>
> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow
> ; (
Simple, but brilliant)
>
> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The
> abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the
> borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain,
the
> borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity
contains
> the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!) &
> nbsp;
>
> Q. What is the fibula?
> A. A small lie
>
> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
> A. Nearby
>
> Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people
> prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That
would
> work)
>
> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
> A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
>
> Q. What is a seizure?
> A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius
Seizure, I
> came, I saw, I had a fit)
>
> Q. What is a terminal illness
> A. When you are sick at the airport .
(Irrefutable)
>
> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas
>
> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand
its
> meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
> (OMG)
>
> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
>
> Q. What is a turbine?
> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
